Change the mind, you'll change the world.
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Before I begin, let me just outline that while I’m not a clinical expert in the field of psychology or an advocate for violence, I do want to point out that dealing with the bully in the 80s was a lot easier than it is now. And I really feel for those kids who have to deal with the issue that seems to be repeated with every generation.
My soapbox moment started off with a casual conversation with a friend on the weekend and she mentioned that her eleven year old is having a hard time at school with her now ex eleven year old best friend. I won't go into the intricate details, but you get the picture...group, pushing, threatening and chasing. I can't help but think if that bully has so much determination to unravel some poor kid's world, imagine what she could achieve if she redirected that energy to better use. Yes, parents have a lot to answer for.
It’s really frightening. When I posed the question as to whether the bully situation is worse now than it was when we were kids, the answer was a full hardy yes. With social media forever in their faces, heck, even this blog is online, there is nowhere to hide. But with soooooo much information and opportunity for dis-connection at the y generations' disposal, why is it then that they simply can’t switch off and not let it enter their mindspace.
Bring back the wind up telephone I say, or make sure your best friend has a sister.
Recently I was invited to be part of a 'growing up in the eighties' online group. With glee I answered 'yes' immediately, because like it or not, the eighties was an 'unreal' decade to pass through that awkward pubescent stage. And one of the coping mechanisms was the land line telephone. In the instance of the bully situation, there were two options:
Take the phone off the hook. (Dealing with an angry parent who couldn’t get a hold of you to say that they would be late coming home and why must you hold up the line all the time) was a much better alternative than the constant rantings and call/hang up abuse on the telephone landline after school. If the phone was off the hook, there could be no contact.
To deal with the school bully and this is a true story, the last resort objective was to call in the troops. Or better still, a best friend with an older sister. When older sister Helen arrived all it took was a curt standover tactic, a few words of wisdom, ‘like touch her and I’ll punch ya face’ and viola no more bully standing at the gate. That is until I entered the corporate world, but we’ll deal with that later. Or is it the case of once a bully, always a bully?
Looking further into the research and I’m astounded at the figures of teenage suicide caused by bullying. It’s so horrific to think that kids in this day and age are thinking that ending your young life is the only option. And yes social media has a lot to answer for, as well as parents, they need a slap as well. But in this day of social media, that too would be videoed, edited, posted and hashtagged.
I shake my head in sadness when I hear of the 21 century school bully.
But to all the kids out there, suicide is not the answer but neither is complacency. And while I can only imagine, as I'm not an expert, I still stand by the idea that if you change the mind, you change the mindset.
Parents need to man up, kids need to take ownership and phones need to be turned off.
I know my kids are listening. I'm confident that they know I'll stand by them no matter what. Is this a taboo subject? I’d love to hear the feedback, those hushed conversations that may not seem PC. I know we certainly had those types of discussions when my son was in year 10. And yes I did want to punch the parents…but I illustrated to my son a different perspective.
Here are five podcasts (I love) that could be used to empower the young resilient mind.
https://robdial.com/podcast/ #mindsetmentor
www.beyondblue.org.au Prevention is a phone call away.
www.brenebrown.com/podcast - get more happy content in your brain
https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/
www.nosuchthingasafish.com (fill your mind with interesting facts. This was a great suggestion by my Osteo...thanks Kris!)
#personalstory #soapboxmoment #nomorebullies #eightieswerethebest #mindsetmentor #getahead #positive #kids